Sunday, March 22, 2015

Hypocrisy

Jack here. Fracture wanted to use this slot in our posting schedual ( Yes, there this is a fucking mandatory posting scheduled this blog adheres to. That fucker has spreadsheets and dates written down and shit. Its almost as weird as the grill cheese thing.) to talk about negotiations with Slicer's little cell of Fallen proxy.

I love negotiation talks with losers that can't let go and move on from a dead gutted order as much as the next guy but I NEVER get to fucking post on this blog so I'm stealing it! Picasso and tracker can fill in the details on what was said themselves on Picasso's blog. This is my fucking blog time!

And I want to use this time to bitch about the injustice and favoritism I've been seeing since Emily got here. When I was first time told she was gonna get crafting lessons I didn't think anything of it. Shes smart. She can probably learn to craft and shit. Seemed fine. But you know why I'm not allowed to learn to craft?

"You're unstable. You've got raw talent but you're liable to hurt yourself and others throwing one of your inane little fits."

I which is fair... I guess? For the record, my fits aren't inane. Its not my fault everyone is a shit head and insist on pissing me off.

Back on target, you know who is more unstable than I am? EMILY. She has broken down into a feral violent animal on twice now. Which seemed normal the first time it happened. Me and Maggot beat the shit out of each other the first time we make eye contact on any given day. Breaking into a fight is normal... for me at least. Nobody else seems to do that shit.

But I realized something was wrong with her the second time it happened. When I pin down Maggot, he stops. He acknowledges his loss and I stab him and we part ways. When I beat Em she didn't stop. She hissed and growled and flailed and bit at me like a rabid fucking beast. I had to crush her nose into her head to make her stop. A measure I could only resort to because of the loop we live in. I don't know what I would have done if this kind of thing happened like in a parking lot or something. I would have had to run or something. Because nothing short of putting the bitch down stopped her.

And apparently THAT is more stable than me? THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT.

I stop when I go down. I relent when I lose. And keep my head instead of degrading into a sick depraved animal and I deserve those lessons. Not her.

I confronted Fracture about it again recently.

"Fine. You want to know why you're not allowed to learn to craft?" he asked.

"No shit! This is bullshit. Either your reasoning is full of shit and you're lying to me or you're playing favorites and can't see how fucked in the head she is."

Fracture wrote something onto a piece of paper where I couldn't see it and then folded that piece of paper in half and handed it off to me.

"Read it in private in your room or something and told tell anyone or show anyone."

I clenched the note to my chest and ran to my room, trembling and excited. Truth at last!

You know what that fucking note said?!

'You're not allowed to learn to craft... because fuck you. That's why.'

I uh... might have lost it a little. Things got hazy. I remember charging down the hall firing my revolver in the spot Fracture was sitting.

He of course, had already bailed. Fucker. I don't deserve this. I'm sure I don't deserve much. What we want in this world has to be taken if its to be earned... but god damn it is this fucked up?

I mean am I crazy? People like to tell me I am but I'm pretty sure I know wrong when I see it. I CHOSE to ignore it.

I don't know. But I'm pretty sure its bullshit.

Signing off, Future Crafter Jake

Monday, March 9, 2015

Dog's Life: Finally a lead

Finally some shit worth talking about.

I know on my end, things have been kind of succinct. Uneventful. This Black Lake hunt isn't really something I wanted to do in the first place. Proxyism isn't, either, but what are you gonna do, right? So you can understand why I might be fuckin' reluctant to write about any of this, let alone the fact that up until now, I had fuck-all for leads.

I'm not exactly pleased as punch at how I got the goddamn leads though, I'll tell you that. Let me back up and explain.

I've been tailing Vallus for a while now. If you're reading this blog, you know who she is, you know that I've been on her trail, you know all this shit. But what you might have guessed, that I unfuckingfortunately did not, was that...she knew all of this shit too.

Yes, that bitch has let me trail her for weeks now, and never once bothered to pop over and say 'hello!'

I would be a lot more forgiving since she doesn't know what I look like, as such, only her fucking bitch friend showed up and, during our confrontation, decided to punch my lights out. That was fun. Almost got in a fist fight with a woman in broad daylight out on the street because she's touchy or something. Yeah, yeah, I promised, whatever. You don't hear me squealin.

The one useful thing to come out of this unfortunate encounter, besides the knowledge that I don't need to be as concerned about Vallus as I thought I did*, is that Vallus seems to believe our Doll is a police officer of some sort. Which, on the one hand, means that extra caution will be necessary. On the other, this is the first solid lead I've had since I got here, and since I'm basically working alone at this point it's good to have something to go on. Makes me feel damn swell, you know?

At this point I think it's worth noting that Ralph would likely make for a good investigative partner, if he weren't bound up in the motel room by Vallus' presence and the whole facade we have to keep up of just being regular tourists. I've gone out, seen a few sights, chatted with the locals a bit, smoked a few cigarettes.The usual cover story bullshit. But Ralph essentially can't go anywhere because if he does, he risks putting this whole thing in danger. It's frustrating, but until I've found our Doll or come up with something for him to do, he gets to chillax.

Lucky SOB.

A good magician never reveals his secrets, and so to it is with any good game plan. So I'm not putting my next move up publically until after the move's been made. Y'follow? But with a lead comes an actual, tangible direction for this case...so that's my report. Hope you're happy Cat.

-Cerebrus

*Unless the note she had me pass on to Ralph was something serious. "I'm still going to kill you." The fuck does that mean? According to Ralph she's been sending him messages like that for years. Still haven't gotten around to asking him what that's about. Just hoping it won't interfere. Fucking Christ.