Hypocrisy

Jack here. Fracture wanted to use this slot in our posting schedual ( Yes, there this is a fucking mandatory posting scheduled this blog adheres to. That fucker has spreadsheets and dates written down and shit. Its almost as weird as the grill cheese thing.) to talk about negotiations with Slicer's little cell of Fallen proxy.

I love negotiation talks with losers that can't let go and move on from a dead gutted order as much as the next guy but I NEVER get to fucking post on this blog so I'm stealing it! Picasso and tracker can fill in the details on what was said themselves on Picasso's blog. This is my fucking blog time!

And I want to use this time to bitch about the injustice and favoritism I've been seeing since Emily got here. When I was first time told she was gonna get crafting lessons I didn't think anything of it. Shes smart. She can probably learn to craft and shit. Seemed fine. But you know why I'm not allowed to learn to craft?

"You're unstable. You've got raw talent but you're liable to hurt yourself and others throwing one of your inane little fits."

I which is fair... I guess? For the record, my fits aren't inane. Its not my fault everyone is a shit head and insist on pissing me off.

Back on target, you know who is more unstable than I am? EMILY. She has broken down into a feral violent animal on twice now. Which seemed normal the first time it happened. Me and Maggot beat the shit out of each other the first time we make eye contact on any given day. Breaking into a fight is normal... for me at least. Nobody else seems to do that shit.

But I realized something was wrong with her the second time it happened. When I pin down Maggot, he stops. He acknowledges his loss and I stab him and we part ways. When I beat Em she didn't stop. She hissed and growled and flailed and bit at me like a rabid fucking beast. I had to crush her nose into her head to make her stop. A measure I could only resort to because of the loop we live in. I don't know what I would have done if this kind of thing happened like in a parking lot or something. I would have had to run or something. Because nothing short of putting the bitch down stopped her.

And apparently THAT is more stable than me? THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT.

I stop when I go down. I relent when I lose. And keep my head instead of degrading into a sick depraved animal and I deserve those lessons. Not her.

I confronted Fracture about it again recently.

"Fine. You want to know why you're not allowed to learn to craft?" he asked.

"No shit! This is bullshit. Either your reasoning is full of shit and you're lying to me or you're playing favorites and can't see how fucked in the head she is."

Fracture wrote something onto a piece of paper where I couldn't see it and then folded that piece of paper in half and handed it off to me.

"Read it in private in your room or something and told tell anyone or show anyone."

I clenched the note to my chest and ran to my room, trembling and excited. Truth at last!

You know what that fucking note said?!

'You're not allowed to learn to craft... because fuck you. That's why.'

I uh... might have lost it a little. Things got hazy. I remember charging down the hall firing my revolver in the spot Fracture was sitting.

He of course, had already bailed. Fucker. I don't deserve this. I'm sure I don't deserve much. What we want in this world has to be taken if its to be earned... but god damn it is this fucked up?

I mean am I crazy? People like to tell me I am but I'm pretty sure I know wrong when I see it. I CHOSE to ignore it.

I don't know. But I'm pretty sure its bullshit.

Signing off, Future Crafter Jake